The Hands of a Gentle Giant

On July 1st it will be 4 months ago to the day that the world lost a gentle giant. That gentle giant was Daniel Eric Bauder. Dan was my closest cousin and my partner in crime. Marlene Dietrich once said, “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter” and Dan truly was that kind of person to not only me but tons of other people. The lives he touched will never be forgotten or the impact that he had on those individuals lives. His passion to succeed in both life and school was just two of the amazing qualities that he possessed. Dan was one of the hardest workers that I ever knew. He was a role model and a voice of reason to me. Mitch Albom said, “Death ends a life, not a relationship” I never realized just how true that statement was until I lost Dan. I know that I will never physically be able to talk to him or laugh with him again but the relationship that I had with him will never be taken from me.

One of the biggest things about Dan that people knew about him was his desire to help others. He was always going out of his way to help a classmate study, help a friend through a rough time or just make someone laugh. George Bernard Shaw most have known Dan when he said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. This truly embodies what Dan was about.

I know that I will never be able to get my cousin back but I know that his memory still lives on. I know that the impact he had on this world will continue to be felt and he will always be remembered as a gentle giant. The hole that was ripped into my heart by the loss of him will never fully heal but with time I have slowly learned to let this empower me and help me to grow as a person and an individual. I have learned to live everyday like it’s my last. I have learned to also live it as Dan would want me to live it and to do everything to honor his memory. I will leave you with this quote and hopefully it will help inspire you to live a life without regrets and to the fullest. I know that Dan did that and I plan on doing the same thing.

“Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” Ernest Hemingway

RIP Daniel Eric Bauder
12-22-1989 to 04-01-2012
Gone But Never Forgotten

Dan Tribute Post Part 1

Sorry for these emotional posts but I have found that blogging about how I feel about my cousins death has been one of the biggest things to help me through this horrible tragedy.

These last couple days have been insanely tough on me. Lots of stuff has been thrown at me life wise and I honestly have no one to talk about it. It’s not because I don’t have friends or family to talk to about stuff it’s the fact that none of them think the same way that I do or understand me the same way you did Dan. I know you are probably up in heaven telling me to man up and grow a pair but this has been the hardest challenge that I have ever faced in my life. I will never understand why God took someone that was so amazing and loved by so many people from us. I’m doing my best to try and live life the way you would want me to Dan but lets face it that is really hard when you’re partner in crime and best friend is no longer around. Multiple times today I have picked up my phone to text you only to realize that you won’t respond and then every time it hits me that you are no longer here.

It’s amazing to read all of the stories and memories of everyone that knew you on your Facebook tribute page. You touched so many lives in the short amount of time you were here. I know for a fact that I owe so much of my success to your motivational talks and words of encouragement. You were always there for me when life put a speed bump in my path. When I found out the real side to the girl that I was in love with you and I texted you and told you everything I found out about her. I will never forget what you said. You told me “Josh not many girls are meant for us and I can tell you first hand that she wasn’t meant for you. Plus you can do way better then that midget.” You were always the first person that I texted or called when I met a new girl and the first thing you would ask is where is a picture of her. I can still remember some of the hilarious comments that you made about some of the girls I sent you pictures of. It just doesn’t make sense that I can’t text you right now and ask you about how stuff is going or for advice.

It’s impossible for anyone to ever fill the role that you played in my life. I know that my friends and family are amazing but they aren’t the same type of amazing that you are. I can remember one night when you jumped on my air mattress I was sleeping on sending me flying into the air. I have to say that is not a fun way to wake up but you loved doing that to me. I also remember sitting out on the dock at night just talking about life with you and all of our crazy plans for life. I wish I could go back to that night because it was one of the many amazing memories I have of our time together.

I hope you are having fun being God CEO and I know that you know have the ability to really pull some awesome pranks but please don’t pull any epic pranks with my dating life. You are always going to be one of the most important people in my life. Even without you here physically I know that you are still looking down on me. I wish I could hear your voice right now but sadly I can’t. Don’t have too much fun up in Heaven save some of it for me. I love you and miss you D.

I love you Dan
Daniel Eric Bauder
12-22-1989 to 04-01-2012
Gone But Not Forgotten

Gone But Not Forgotten

This year has been one of the craziest roller coasters of life ever. I mean I went from being dumped by a girl who I loved to losing a cousin that was honestly like an extension of me. I’m normally a very closed off and private person about how I’m feeling about stuff like this but I felt that I needed to say what I was going through and maybe somebody can relate to me on it.

These last couple months have been horrible for me. I mean yes breaking up with someone is part of life but it’s not a fun part of life. Thankfully I have lots of amazing friends and family that helped me get through that but just when I had found the light at the end of the tunnel I lost my cousin Daniel Bauder. I honestly don’t know of a word or phrase to describe just how much he means to me. He has helped me through so many rough times in my life. He was a role model to me even though he was younger than I. Everyday we would push each other to be the best. When life wasn’t going the best for me I always knew that I could count on him to be there for me. I mean yes I have lots of friends and family that I can count on as well but no one honestly can compare to how close I was too him.

He was one of my biggest supporters if not the biggest supporter for all of my crazy company ideas. Yes he would be like Josh that isn’t a very bright idea but he always supported me in the end. Him and I had plans to become business partners in the near future and work on building a business empire. He was one of the smartest people who I knew and he always was willing to share his knowledge with everyone. His compassion for his friends, family, classmates and teammates was always something that I admired about him.

On April 1st, 2012 I heard the worst news of my life I heard that Dan was found dead in his bedroom. I honestly went into shock because I didn’t think that it was possible for him to die especially not at this age. The week before that I had everything I wanted to do in life figured out. I knew what I wanted to do with my career, I knew what I wanted to find in a future wife and everything was finally making sense to me. Now nothing seems to make sense. I can barely focus on even basic things that I would normally breeze through without even thinking about. I have no clue now what I want to do with my career and I’m super confused about almost everything else in life.

When you have someone who is so close to you ripped out of your life it really does change who you are as a person. It makes you stop and think about all the small things in life. I use to go 100mph and not stop to smell the roses but after losing Dan I realized I needed to learn to slow down and start to enjoy the small things in life because honestly I have no clue when I will be leaving this earth and I don’t want to die knowing that I didn’t take the time enjoy life. I know that Dan enjoyed every bit of his life and so many people loved him.

I’m trying my very best to get my life back together and get back to achieving all of the goals that I had set for myself because now I have two people goals to achieve because Dan and I both promised each other that if one of us died before the other that we would make sure to each the others goals for them. I’m going to do my very best to honor that promise but Dan you left some really hard shoes to fill but I know that with you in Heaven watching down over me that you and God will both work together to help me make both of our life goals come true.

I don’t think that this hole in my heart will ever be healed but I do know that no matter what you will always be one of the most amazing and special people in my life. I will always cherish all of the fun and amazing moments we had together from building forts in the basement to late night chats on the beach talking about various life issues. I know that you are probably up in Heaven laughing at me now for being so emotional but you know what you were a huge part of my life and now you have gone to be with God. I know that you are probably loving being God CEO now and trying to figure out various ways to increase his ROI. Hopefully you got an awesome compensation package because you are an amazing guy and I know that God must have needed you for bigger things.

I love you Daniel Eric Bauder and you will always be in my heart.

Daniel Eric Bauder
12-22-1989 to 04-01-2012
Gone But Not Forgotten

Why I Love Photography

Just a heads up you will probably see why English and Grammar were never my strongest subjects in high school. This is going to become a mandatory part of every post because I know people will sooner or later call me out for my grammar.

So as some of you may know I used to be really big into doing action sport photography especially paintball photography. I have always had a thing for photography and it’s one of the many things in life that I love to do when I have time. I first got started doing photography when I was probably 8 or 9 years old with my one of my grandfathers. He is a huge photography enthusiast and is one of the reasons that I fell in love with photography. A lot of people don’t really understand these days what being a real photographer is about. In this day and age where people have Photoshop or something similar they think that just because they have a camera with a detachable lens makes them a professional photographer. By the way that kind of camera is called an SLR, which stands for Single Lens Reflex. A DSLR is just a digital version of an ordinary SLR. I will continue my rant about what a real professional photographer in a future post.



I think one of the main reasons that I love photography is that it gives me the ability to save a moment or event forever. It also allows me to be able to share memories with future generations, my family and friends or people that are interested in the same things as I am. Being able to capture life one frame at a time is really fun honestly. While doing professional paintball photography I had the ability to travel all over the United States. I also was lucky enough to get to work for some really amazing companies and have my photography published in magazines, newspapers, product advertisements, posters, online and several other places. I think that the thing that made me really love doing that was the ability to make someone smile and the ability to capture that one amazing picture.



I have also had the umm I guess you could say privilege to do professional paintball photography in some crazy conditions. In the pictures that you have seen in this post you will see pictures that were taken in Huntington Beach, California where they setup a field right on the beach. You will also see pictures from Chicago, Illinois where some of the photos were taken during an insanely heavy rainstorm. I also had the fun time of being in Polk City, Florida when the heat index was 110+ doing photography that sucked if I’m going to be completely honest. I wouldn’t give up any of those memories though that I got to experience from doing it. I mean yea it sucks to get shot up 100+ times in one day or to be standing outside in 110+ degree heat for 12+ hours but I loved it and I always will.